People Do Understand

 When it comes to dreaming of having a baby, one of the biggest lessons I've learned thus far is that there are other people who understand how you feel. They are out there, even if you are convinced no one else gets it.

 I spent a long time convinced that no one has ever wanted a baby as badly as I did (and still do), and that everyone who tried to talk to me about it just couldn't understand it. I spent my time researching instead, hoping it would ease some of the pain that came from my deep desire. As a result, it was all I had to talk about, all I really cared about and I drove my husband crazy. I'm sure I did the same with others but I don't live with them so they never told me.

This was the start of a downward spiral for me. I couldn't understand my husband's side of things. I refused to see why waiting was best for us at the time. Even now it drives me crazy at times, even when there's only a few months before we are going to try for a baby. But seriously, one of the worst things you can do is alienate the man you're going to have the eventual baby with. Don't do it! All of my sadness only made it more apparent to my husband that we needed to wait. I was so wrapped up in my wanting, I'd done next to nothing in terms of preparation.

 I recommend, if you are like I was, put the baby books down and go do something else. If you still want to do something baby-related, check out all the forums out there about preparing for pregnancy. I guarantee you will find many women who feel the same way you do. It was that alone that made me feel so much better.

 There will be people who try to make you feel better but only seem to make you feel angrier than you were at having to wait. Try to take what advice they give you if its sound (none of that "go off the birth control and don't tell your husband" crap) and know that they aren't trying to hurt you. They're telling you what they are because they love you and don't want to see you hurting. My mother was usually this kind of person for me. I knew she meant well, but no amount of logic helped me when I was at my worst. After talking with my husband, it seemed best if I didn't talk to her about it anymore since she didn't have much more to say after the first conversation and it only made me fall apart.

I hope this helps someone who felt like I did not so long ago. Occasionally I still feel like this. When that happens I try to talk to other women who felt as I did. If you cannot round up a woman like the ones I have, I recommend the forums on WhatToExpect.com. They have forums specifically for women like us. I hope you find someone who understands.

Here's the link: http://www.whattoexpect.com